The speed of desire

Very recently (Saturday night for all yalls who were there) I became reconnected to the holy spirit. It was a connection that I had lost for a while, though I missed it every single day. And every single day that DESIRE grew bigger and bigger. Starting with a whimsical, half hearted "wouldn't it be nice if Christ were in my life?" and steadily progressing to straight up desperation - "OMG I NEED ME SOME JESUS!". And no sooner than that DESIRE reached its apex did the Good Lord deliver - in the form of one amazing night of worship with my fellow believers, new and old.

He was back! I had seen the face of God once more, clear as day, and I was absolutely determined to keep that face fresh in my mind. To not sink back into the unimportant BS that I used to distract myself from the growing hole in my life that was caused by my lack of a relationship with God.

Sunday I reveled in the glory.

Monday I freaked out.

Terrified of squandering my new found connection, I set out to take drastic measures in an attempt to "rope me in some God!" But I was shot down hard and fast. Just as a child wants to play with the new swing set before Daddy builds it, I tried to put it together myself - and you can imagine how that turned out.

My DESIRE turned to action, and my actions were a failure. What do I do now? What can I do to hold on to this connection with Christ and not let it slip away? My frustration is off the charts now. Despite my earlier failure, my DESIRE was still in tact and growing stronger.

And once again, when the DESIRE peaked, God served up the answer: "You don't have to do anything. I am the creator of the universe, and it is I who does the doing." No it wasn't a big booming voice from the sky. It was as simple as a facebook update from my mentor, linking to this. And that's how He works. In the tiniest of ways, and at the SPEED of DESIRE.